between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
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