I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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