I didn't shave. On purpose
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
