Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
