i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Also, beer. Big fan.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
