Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
