he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
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Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize