we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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