My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Alive.
So much puke
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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