They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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