I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
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Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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