but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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