That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
