And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
