Fine. I'll sleep in my office
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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