toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
