how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Randomize
