So drunk its hurt
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
