nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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