My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
