Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Life is so much better after having sex.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Randomize
