I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
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