did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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