You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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