if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
