i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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