my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
