saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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