id be glad to
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
