My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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