apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
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the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
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I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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