you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
