I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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