Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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