hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.