I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving