Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
