I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?