He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
