Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.