just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize