I must be too annoying 4 u.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
