Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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