I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
birth control should be required to get into college
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
