The maid of honor just puked.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Randomize
