I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
