i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
