hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
