About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
