is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
