Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
