Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
