my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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