Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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