loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
