I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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