so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
