dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
