Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I understand Curling. That high.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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