Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
