My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
