Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
