She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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