Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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