these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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