We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
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