For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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